Wall Street analysts issued their weekly stack of stock recommendations Friday. SpaceX made the list. So did Nvidia, Apple, Tesla, Crocs, Microsoft, and Robinhood. The usual suspects.
These are the biggest calls. Not the best calls. Not the most accurate calls. The biggest. Size matters when you're trying to move markets before your firm's proprietary desk unloads positions.
Retail traders will read these analyst notes over the weekend. They'll screenshot the price targets. They'll calculate their future gains on assets they don't own yet. By Monday morning they'll be holding calls on Crocs because some guy with a Bloomberg terminal said the foam clogs have upside.
The technical charts don't care what analysts think. Support and resistance levels were drawn months ago. Volume patterns already told you where the stock is going. But sure, let's all wait for a 28-year-old with an MBA to explain why Microsoft is a buy at all-time highs.
SpaceX isn't even publicly traded. That didn't stop it from making the analyst call list. Brilliant. Now retail can't even lose money on it directly. They'll have to buy some aerospace ETF with 0.3% SpaceX exposure and call themselves early investors.
Crocs and Tesla on the same list is perfect. One sells rubber shoes to people who've given up. The other sells cars to people who think they're saving the planet by buying a $90,000 sedan. Both companies have cult followings. Both will be defended online by people who confuse their portfolio with their personality.
The charts already moved. The analysts wrote their notes. The retail traders are Googling "what is a price target" right now. By the time they buy, the smart money is already gone.
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