Pricing

Free

$0 / month

No credit card required

Daily satirical takes on the headlines the financial media is losing their minds over — written by someone who thinks feelings are not a technical indicator.

✓ Free posts on the latest financial headlines
✓ Sardonic analysis from Phil McCandlestick
✓ Free fundamental analysis on any ticker — EBITDA, margins & more, no account needed
✓ The news is noise — we'll remind you daily
✓ No Bloomberg terminal required

Start reading free

The No Panic Zone

Paid

$15 / month

or $120/year — save $60

7-day free trial — cancel anytime

The chart takes over. Every week, the stocks and sectors making headlines get a full technical breakdown. The news tells you what happened. The chart tells you what's next.

✓ Full technical analysis on stocks in the news
✓ Support levels, momentum & price action
✓ Key levels to watch — not feelings, not vibes
✓ Everything in the free tier

Join the No Panic Zone

Pay Per Chart ⚡ Proprietary Indicator

On-Demand — One-Time

$5.99 / chart

No subscription, no account required

Not ready to commit to a subscription? Pay once and get a full THS Trend Candles v2 analysis delivered as a downloadable PDF — any stock or crypto ticker, any timeframe.

✓ One full THS Trend Candles v2 report
✓ Any stock, ETF, or crypto ticker
✓ Daily, Weekly, or Monthly timeframe
✓ Delivered as a downloadable PDF
✓ No account or sign-up required

How it works

Enter your ticker, timeframe, and asset type
Pay securely on Stripe's checkout page
You're redirected back automatically
Watch the progress bar while your analysis is generated (~3–4 minutes)
Download your PDF — ready instantly, no waiting on email

Get a Chart Analysis

Unlimited On-Demand Access ⚡ Proprietary Indicator

On-Demand — Unlimited

$79 / month

or $790/year — save $158

Submit any ticker and receive a full THS Trend Candles v2 analysis within minutes. Unlimited requests. Any stock, ETF, or crypto — the chart you want, when you want it.