Xi Jinping announced China will provide developing countries with 5,000 opportunities in AI training programs. The phrase "opportunities in AI training" does the heaviest lifting since the word "opportunity" replaced "mandatory attendance" in corporate speak.
Developing countries get to learn AI from the nation that uses it primarily to track citizens and ban Winnie the Pooh memes. What a partnership. It's like getting swimming lessons from someone who fills the pool with concrete.
The training programs will cover machine learning, neural networks, and advanced techniques for determining which of your neighbors said something unflattering about infrastructure projects. Graduates receive a certificate and a complimentary social credit score they can't opt out of.
Xi warned against AI security overreach while simultaneously operating the world's most comprehensive surveillance state. The irony died of exhaustion before it could be properly documented. Someone should check if irony is still covered under most insurance policies.
Five thousand training slots sounds impressive until you realize it's being offered to roughly 6.8 billion people across developing nations. That's a acceptance rate that makes Harvard look like a community college with an open enrollment policy. Your odds are better. They aren't good, but they're better.
Retail traders will somehow interpret this as bullish for whatever AI stock they're bagholding this week. They'll ignore that "cooperation with various blocs" means "we're offering this to anyone who'll listen" and imagine themselves as early investors in the next technological revolution. They're not early. They're late to a seminar nobody wanted to attend in the first place.
The developing world now faces a choice: accept AI training from China or develop their own technology without strings attached. Most will choose the former because it's free, then spend the next decade discovering that nothing from a government is ever actually free.
Photo by Road Ahead on Unsplash
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