Tom Kean Jr. didn't show up to Congress for months. Not because he was sick. Not because he was injured. Because he was sad.
Depression is real and serious and deserves treatment. But explaining your absence from a job you campaigned for in a competitive district by saying you got diagnosed with it after you already vanished is a hell of a political strategy. Most people call their boss when they're not coming in. Kean just stopped appearing and hoped New Jersey voters would forget they elected him.
The man represents a swing district. His seat matters for control of the House. And he ghosted the entire legislative branch like a Tinder date who got cold feet. No press releases. No updates. Just gone.
Here's what kills me. Retail traders lose their life savings on a meme stock because some dipshit on Reddit told them GameStop was going to the moon, and they show up to their Wendy's shift the next day anyway. They cry in the walk-in freezer during their break and then go back to the register. Kean couldn't make it to a job where he votes twice a week and spends the rest of his time at fundraising dinners.
His constituents spent months wondering if their congressman was alive, dead, or just really committed to remote work. Turns out he was option three, except he wasn't working remotely either. He was just remote.
The timing is convenient too. Midterms around the corner. Competitive district. Suddenly he's back with a diagnosis that explains everything and makes you look like an asshole if you criticize him for it. It's the political equivalent of bringing a doctor's note to gym class six months after you skipped.
At least the Wendy's employee can't tank the House majority by not showing up.
Photo by Mark König on Unsplash
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