JPMorgan released its top stock picks for July and included EPR Properties. EPR Properties is a REIT that owns movie theaters, ski resorts, and entertainment venues. You know, all the things people stopped going to during the pandemic and then forgot existed after they discovered they could just stay home and argue on the internet for free.
The firm called it a dividend-paying stock worth buying. EPR's entire business model depends on human beings leaving their houses to watch movies on screens they don't own instead of on screens they do own. Bold thesis from the bank that somehow survived 2008.
This is the same JPMorgan that gets paid whether you make money or lose money. They collect fees when you buy. They collect fees when you sell. They collect fees when you panic at 2 a.m. and rebalance your portfolio because you read a headline about interest rates. Their incentive structure has nothing to do with you retiring comfortably and everything to do with you trading frequently enough to justify their research department's existence.
EPR Properties trades on fundamentals that include whether teenagers still want to sit in sticky chairs next to strangers. JPMorgan analysts ran the numbers and decided yes, probably, good enough for July. Not August. July.
The stock pays a dividend. That dividend comes from rent payments made by businesses that sell twelve-dollar popcorn. If you think that revenue stream is sustainable in an economy where everyone complains about egg prices, JPMorgan has a list for you.
Retail traders will see JPMorgan's name and assume someone smart did actual work. They will buy EPR because a bank with a balance sheet the size of Norway's GDP said it was a top idea for one specific month. They will not ask why it's a good idea in July but wasn't in June. They will simply click buy and check back in September to see if they still own a movie theater.
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