Cyclospora cayetanensis. A single-celled parasite that lives in human intestines and makes you sh*t for weeks. Not a metaphor for your trading strategy. An actual organism.
The CDC reports outbreaks across multiple states. Contaminated produce is the usual vector. Lettuce. Herbs. Berries. The same stuff your wife buys at Whole Foods while you're losing money on 0DTE options in the parking lot.
Here's what matters. The incubation period averages seven days. Symptoms include watery diarrhea, loss of appetite, weight loss, cramping, nausea, and fatigue. Sounds terrible until you realize it's also an accurate description of holding through earnings as a retail trader.
Treatment exists. Trimethoprim-sulfamethoxazole. A antibiotic combination that actually works, which already makes it more effective than your technical analysis. Most people recover fully. No long-term damage. Unlike your Robinhood account.
Prevention is straightforward. Wash your produce. Don't eat food that's been sitting in questionable conditions. Basic hygiene. The same discipline you lack when you see a stock mentioned in a Reddit thread with rocket emojis.
The parasite spreads through the fecal-oral route. Meaning someone didn't wash their hands and now you're spending two weeks on a toilet questioning your life choices. Still more dignified than explaining to your family why you bought GameStop at $347.
Cyclospora doesn't care about your thesis. It doesn't respect support levels. It won't reverse at the 200-day moving average. It just does what parasites do. Takes what it needs and leaves you weaker than it found you.
At least the infection eventually ends.
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