A bipartisan group of senators wants to reform Social Security before the trust fund runs dry in 2032. They're calling for action now instead of waiting until the last possible second. This represents a radical departure from the standard congressional strategy of ignoring problems until they become catastrophic emergencies.
The trust fund pays retirement benefits to people who spent their entire careers convinced the stock market was rigged. They were right. They still get a check every month. You bought PLTR calls at the top and now you're explaining to your wife why the mortgage is late.
Six years sounds like plenty of time. It's not. Congress needs at least five years to argue about whether the problem exists, another three to form committees, and two more to blame the other party. That puts us at 2036, which is four years after the money runs out. Perfect timing.
The bipartisan aspect is the funniest part. Democrats and Republicans agreeing on something financial means one of two things. Either the situation is so dire that pretending otherwise would be political suicide, or they found a way to f*ck over the same group of people from different angles. My money's on option two.
Retail traders hearing this news immediately started googling "Social Security stocks to buy." There are none. Social Security is not a company. You cannot buy shares. This will not stop someone from launching a Social Security-themed ETF by Friday. The ticker will be BOOMER and it will somehow lose money in a bull market.
The senators proposing this reform process have an average age of 147. They'll all be dead before any changes take effect. They're essentially arguing about how to split a check at a restaurant they're never coming back to. The waitress is Gen X and she's not getting a tip either way.
Leave a Comment