SpaceX joins the Nasdaq-100 on Tuesday. Retail traders everywhere are refreshing their Robinhood apps wondering why they can't find the ticker. They will keep refreshing.
The stock isn't publicly traded. Never has been. Won't be Tuesday either. But it's in the index now because Nasdaq changed the rules to allow private companies in 2023, which is like letting someone into the Olympics who refuses to compete. SpaceX gets all the legitimacy of index inclusion without suffering the indignity of letting you touch it.
The summary promises the stock's small index weighting will limit passive buying pressure. Passive funds have to buy what's in the index. That's the whole f*cking point of passive funds. But SpaceX shares trade on private markets at prices you'll never see and spreads that would make a payday lender blush. Good luck executing that rebalancing, Vanguard.
Index inclusion usually triggers a pop because algos and ETFs pile in without thinking. They're programmed to buy. They buy. The stock goes up. Simple ecosystem. But SpaceX broke it by staying private. The buying pressure hits a wall of illiquidity thicker than the hull of Starship. Funds that track the Nasdaq-100 will now hold a position they can't easily buy, sell, or price accurately. Revolutionary.
Elon gets to tell investors his company is Nasdaq-100 quality without letting them vote on his compensation package or ask questions on earnings calls. He engineered the perfect grift: all of the prestige, none of the accountability, and your index fund is stuck holding the bag it can't even open.
Retail traders will spend Tuesday Googling "how to buy SpaceX stock" and landing on blogs that explain they can't. Then they'll buy Tesla again and pretend it's the same thing.
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