Elena Kagan and Amy Coney Barrett will testify to the House about the Supreme Court's budget request. This marks the first time justices have done this since 2019. That year, Kagan and Samuel Alito asked Congress for money. The Court apparently operates on a five-year begging cycle.
Barrett replaces Alito in the lineup. Alito must have drawn the short straw last time and earned a permanent exemption. Or maybe they rotate based on seniority, like little league parents bringing snacks. Either way, Kagan gets stuck doing this twice. She's the institutional memory now. The veteran of walking into a room full of elected officials and explaining why the judicial branch needs a cost-of-living adjustment for its marble polish.
The budget request itself is not public yet. Could be anything. New gavels. Better robes. A subscription to WestLaw that doesn't buffer during oral arguments. The justices will sit there and answer questions from representatives who control their funding, which sounds like separation of powers but with extra steps and worse lighting.
Retail traders heard this news and immediately started scanning for a Supreme Court ETF. Doesn't exist. Never will. But that won't stop someone from launching a politically themed basket of contractor stocks and calling it SCOT or GAVEL. You'll buy it. You'll lose money. You'll blame Jerome Powell somehow.
The hearing will be polite. The justices will get their money. Congress will pretend it extracted concessions. And in 2031, Kagan will do this again with whoever Trump appointed in his third term after the Constitution got real flexible about term limits.
Five years between budget hearings means the Supreme Court asks for funding less often than you check your portfolio, but with a better win rate.
Photo by Ian Hutchinson on Unsplash
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