Waymo just launched a premium subscription tier for people who want to pay $29.99 a month to sit in the back of a robot car more often. The service starts in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and Phoenix. Those are the three cities where sitting in traffic without even pretending to control the vehicle apparently wasn't accessible enough.
The subscription targets power users. Power users of what, exactly? Staring at your phone while a Jaguar I-PACE with sixteen cameras drives you to Whole Foods? That was already free in the sense that you just paid per ride like a normal f*cking person. Now you can pre-pay for the luxury of dependency.
Thirty bucks a month buys you priority access to cars that don't have a driver. Think about that business model. You're paying a membership fee to guarantee faster access to unemployment on wheels. The robotaxi shows up quicker so you can get to brunch three minutes earlier while never developing the skill of parallel parking.
This is the same company that spent seventeen years and approximately infinite dollars teaching computers to turn left. They've now monetized impatience. Brilliant, really. Can't wait for the Uber driver to show up? Pay Waymo. Can't wait for the Waymo to show up? Pay Waymo more. Can't afford the subscription? Walk, poor.
Phoenix residents are especially thrilled. They've been beta testing driverless cars since 2017, which means they've spent nearly a decade watching Chrysler Pacificas inch through intersections like confused refrigerators. Now they get to pay for the experience monthly instead of per confused refrigerator.
The real innovation here is charging a recurring fee for something that costs the same whether you use it once or forty times. Gym membership energy, except the gym is a Honda Odyssey that knows calculus and you're the weights.
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