Severe weather disrupted America's 250th anniversary celebrations across the East Coast on Saturday. Rain stopped parties. Thunder scattered crowds. Trump announced he'd speak in DC anyway because of course he did.
Imagine planning a quarter-millennium birthday bash and getting rained out. The Declaration of Independence survived the British Empire, the Civil War, and two centuries of politicians using it as a prop. It could not survive a low-pressure system.
East Coast cities canceled fireworks. Parades got postponed. Somewhere a retail trader checked his phone during the storm and thought "this is definitely bullish for defense contractors." He bought calls on Lockheed Martin because nothing says independence like a $1.7 trillion F-35 program.
Trump said he'd still speak. The man has never met weather he couldn't ignore. He once stared directly at a solar eclipse. A summer storm ranks maybe third on his list of atmospheric concerns.
The 250th anniversary comes once. You get one shot at it. The 251st doesn't hit the same. Nobody throws a rager for their 251st anything. But America managed to schedule its biggest milestone during a weekend when the sky decided to open up and piss on the entire seaboard.
Somewhere in Virginia a guy named Derek spent $3,000 on a boat he rented specifically for this weekend. He was going to anchor it in the Potomac and watch fireworks with his extended family. Now he's sitting in a Hampton Inn watching CNN and explaining to his wife that the deposit was non-refundable. Derek also has 47 shares of Tesla he bought at $847. He's holding long-term.
The weather cleared nothing up and disrupted everything. The stock market wasn't even open. America turned 250 in the rain while Trump prepared remarks and Derek refreshed his brokerage app out of habit.
Photo by Jake Bowman on Unsplash
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