Zipline hired executives from Tesla, Uber Eats, and Waymo. Three companies famous for burning cash and disappointing shareholders. The logic here is airtight. If you want to scale drone delivery across America, why not recruit from the firms that perfected the art of expensive logistics nobody asked for.
Tesla taught the world that missing delivery targets is a feature, not a bug. Uber Eats proved you could lose money on every transaction and make it up in volume. Waymo spent seventeen years teaching cars to drive themselves in Phoenix. Phoenix. A city laid out on a grid by someone who hated turns.
Now these geniuses will help Zipline drop packages from the sky. Because the problem with American logistics was never infrastructure or regulation or basic physics. It was a lack of people who know how to pivot after a Series F.
The press release probably says something about innovation and last-mile delivery and the future of commerce. What it means is Zipline looked at the current executive team and thought, "We need someone who's been through multiple lawsuits and a stock collapse." Character-building stuff.
Retail traders will see this headline and think, "Finally, the dream team." They'll ignore that Tesla's delivery drones are vaporware, that Uber Eats drivers still use cars, and that Waymo's self-driving taxis work in exactly one neighborhood. They'll buy in anyway. Because if there's one thing retail loves, it's a company that hired someone who used to work somewhere famous.
Zipline's drones will definitely make delivery mainstream. Right after they figure out wind, rain, power lines, FAA regulations, and why Americans shoot at things that fly over their property.
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