The Lakers sold for $12.5 billion. CNBC responded by revising every NBA team valuation upward by 21%. One transaction. Thirty teams get repriced. This is how financial journalism works when you've run out of things to say.
The Warriors remain number one in valuation despite not being the team that just sold for $12.5 billion. They're worth more than the thing someone actually paid money for. Makes perfect sense. Valuations are just feelings with spreadsheets attached.
The new average NBA team value sits at $6.68 billion. That's the average. Half these teams play in cities where you can buy a house for $180,000. But sure, the Memphis Grizzlies are worth six billion dollars because a guy in Los Angeles overpaid for a different team. The Charlotte Hornets just got a raise because someone else wrote a check.
Every retail trader who bought shares of MSG Sports this morning thinking they'd cracked the code on NBA exposure is now explaining to their spouse why comparable company analysis seemed like a good idea at the time. Your Robinhood account does not benefit from Lakers comps. You do not own an NBA team. You own a ticker symbol that moves when teenagers in New Jersey get bored.
The Lakers buyer paid $12.5 billion for the right to employ LeBron James's son. Could've adopted a Make-A-Wish kid for free, but that doesn't come with courtside seats.
CNBC will spend the next six months publishing "What your favorite NBA team is worth" slideshows. Each one will cite this sale. Each one will recalculate the same multiples. Each one will pretend these numbers mean something beyond "rich person had $12.5 billion and apparently hated having it."
The funniest part? In two years, someone will pay $15 billion for the Knicks, and we'll do this whole f*cking thing again.
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