Amazon announced a 50-cent-per-gallon discount for Prime members starting July 2. The promotion runs through July 6. Five days to save maybe twelve dollars if you drive like your ex is chasing you.
Prime costs $139 per year. Gas costs roughly $3.50 per gallon depending on which dystopian corner of America you inhabit. The discount caps at 50 cents. Run the numbers. You need to buy 278 gallons of gas annually just to break even on the membership before you even think about free shipping on dog food you could have bought at the store.
But here we are. Millions of people will reroute their entire week to hit specific gas stations during a four-day window to save the cost of a value meal. They will sit in lines. They will download apps. They will scan QR codes at pump seven while Carl from the Camry behind them leans on his horn because the code won't register and the attendant is on break.
The same people who claim they are playing the long game with their Robinhood accounts cannot do basic division to see they are spending an hour to save four dollars. Time is money unless you are a retail trader, in which case time is just another thing you waste while convinced you are optimizing.
Amazon knows this. They built an empire on people who think clicking costs nothing. Every promotion is just a test to see how far you will go for the illusion of winning. The answer is always further than you should.
Jeff Bezos could offer a nickel off bananas and you would drive to three Whole Foods locations comparing ripeness like you are trading futures. You are not beating the system. The system is beating you with a coupon.
Photo by Marques Thomas on Unsplash
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