Wall Street analysts spent Monday issuing calls on Nvidia, Apple, Micron, SanDisk, Crocs, Cummins, Kontoor Brands, and more. That's eight separate companies they felt compelled to share opinions about.
Eight.
The word "more" at the end suggests they didn't stop there. They kept going. Someone at a major bank woke up Monday morning and decided Kontoor Brands needed urgent attention. Kontoor Brands makes Wrangler jeans and Lee jeans. The stock moves about as much as your grandfather's bowels. But an analyst somewhere burned calories thinking about it.
These calls arrived on Monday specifically. Not Friday when the week ends and positions close. Not Wednesday when midweek data might shift sentiment. Monday. The day when nothing has happened yet and everyone's just guessing what might happen based on what happened last week, which also didn't matter.
Crocs made the list. Foam clogs worn exclusively by nurses, line cooks, and people who've given up. An analyst generated a price target for this company. He used a financial model. He presented it to colleagues. They nodded. Someone typed it up and distributed it to clients who pay six figures annually for these insights.
The summary states these are the "biggest calls" of Monday. Biggest by what metric? Not price impact, since analyst calls move stocks about as often as I return shopping carts. Biggest by word count? Number of bullet points in the PDF? Confidence level of the analyst who'll be wrong by Thursday?
Cummins is on here too. They make diesel engines. Thrilling stuff. Really moves the needle for day traders checking their Robinhood app between TikToks.
Every one of these analyst calls will be contradicted by a different analyst within seventy-two hours, and retail traders will somehow lose money on both opinions.
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