The Angels sold for $4 billion. Not $3.9 billion. Not $4.1 billion. Exactly $4 billion, which is either the world's cleanest negotiation or someone rounded up from $3.7 billion and hoped nobody would notice.
This breaks the record previously held by the Mets, who sold for $2.4 billion in 2020. Six years later, the price nearly doubled. Your portfolio did not.
Every financial news outlet now publishes a list of what all thirty MLB teams are worth. The Yankees lead at $7.1 billion. The Marlins bring up the rear at $1.1 billion. The difference between first and last place is six billion dollars, which coincidentally is the exact amount retail traders have lost trying to time the market using TikTok stock tips.
Here's what matters: none of this affects ticket prices. None of this affects player salaries in any way you can predict. None of this changes whether your team wins or loses. The Angels have Mike Trout and Shohei Ohtani and haven't won a playoff game since 2009. Now they're worth $4 billion anyway.
Valuation has nothing to do with performance. It never did. The Marlins won two World Series and they're worth less than a mediocre tech startup that makes AI-powered dog collars.
You cannot buy shares in the Angels. You cannot short the Marlins. You cannot trade options on the Yankees. These valuations exist purely so wealthy people can feel wealthy and financial journalists can fill column inches with numbers that sound impressive.
The Angels were terrible last year. They'll probably be terrible this year. Someone just paid $4 billion for that privilege. But sure, keep checking your Robinhood account every fifteen minutes. That'll be the thing that makes you rich.
Photo by Sean Pierce on Unsplash
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