Jim Cramer released power rankings for hyperscalers. Power rankings. Like they're football teams competing for a playoff spot instead of massive infrastructure companies with fundamentally different business models that respond to completely separate technical factors.
Amazon won his little list after Q2 earnings. Congratulations to Amazon for defeating Microsoft, Google, and presumably Oracle in a competition that exists only in Jim's head and the fever dreams of retail traders who think CNBC segments constitute due diligence.
The premise here deserves examination. Cramer listened to earnings calls—scripted performances designed by investor relations professionals to say nothing controversial—and decided he could rank four trillion-dollar companies like they're his top five lunch spots in Midtown.
He picked Amazon. Not because of any chart pattern. Not because of relative strength or volume divergence or any signal that actually predicts price movement. He picked it because he feels good about it after listening to Andy Jassy talk for forty minutes about operational efficiency.
Retail traders will now pile into AMZN calls on Monday morning. They'll cite Cramer's power rankings in their Discord channels. They'll screenshot his segment and post it with rocket emojis. By Tuesday afternoon they'll be asking why the stock isn't moving and whether they should average down.
The stock will do whatever it was going to do anyway. The chart doesn't care about power rankings. Support and resistance levels don't shift because some television personality decided to make a top-four list during a slow news weekend.
But sure, trade the clouds based on Sunday column rankings instead of price action, and definitely let us know how that six-layer dip strategy works out for your Robinhood account.
Photo by Martin Sanchez on Unsplash
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