The Department of Justice created a fund called the anti-weaponization fund. A judge asked them to promise in writing they wouldn't actually use it. The DOJ said no.
This fund exists because Donald Trump sued the IRS for $10 billion and won a settlement that included the government creating a pot of money specifically designed to prevent the government from doing what the government allegedly did to Donald Trump. The snake is now funded to not eat its own tail. Bureaucratic ouroboros with a line item.
A judge looked at this arrangement and thought maybe we should get that no-weaponization thing in writing. The DOJ responded with the legal equivalent of "nah we're good." Trust us, said the organization that just settled a lawsuit about not being trustworthy. Ironies are compounding faster than your Robinhood margin interest.
The fund has a name that sounds like a contractor pitched it during a fever dream. Anti-weaponization. Not de-weaponization. Not non-weaponization. Anti. As if weaponization is a communicable disease and this fund is the vaccine. The IRS gave someone a cold and now there's a federal slush fund to prevent future sniffles.
Retail traders saw this headline and immediately checked if there's an ETF that tracks government settlement funds with vague mandates. There isn't. There will be by Thursday. Some kid in Newark is already drafting the prospectus. Ticker symbol FKJU. Expense ratio 2.8%. You'll buy it anyway.
The judge wanted certainty. The DOJ offered vibes. This is how empires collapse, not with a bang but with a maybe.
Photo by David Trinks on Unsplash
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