Watch experts have gathered to explain how beginners can start a collection. These are people who convinced themselves that strapping a mechanical device to their wrist makes them sophisticated investors. Your phone tells better time. Their Rolex does not.
The article promises guidance on what holds value. Here's what holds value: not buying watches. A $10,000 Omega loses $3,000 the second you walk out of the store. But watch experts won't tell you that because watch experts are watch salesmen with better LinkedIn profiles.
They'll explain when to buy used. The answer is never, but they need you to believe there's a strategic entry point. Like catching a falling knife, except the knife costs $8,000 and tells you it's 3:47.
Avoiding costly mistakes gets its own section. The costly mistake is thinking you're building a collection instead of buying jewelry. Men won't admit they like jewelry, so they call it investing. They'll bore you with talk of movements and complications. These are features that make the watch worse at telling time but better at justifying the purchase to their wives.
The beginner's guide assumes you need a watch collection. You don't. You need one watch, maybe two if you swim. Everything after that is cope dressed up as connoisseurship. But experts need you confused and intimidated. Confusion creates consulting fees. Intimidation creates premium margins.
Some guy named Derek will read this article, buy a pre-owned Tag Heuer for $4,200, and tell himself he got in at the right time. He'll check its resale value in six months and discover it's worth $2,800. Then he'll visit a watch forum where other guys named Derek will explain that he just needs to hold longer. Derek will hold. Derek will die wearing a watch worth less than his funeral.
Photo by Amin Hasani on Unsplash
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