Over 300,000 people evacuated from France and Spain because a wildfire decided property rights are a social construct. Macron called a crisis meeting. The fire did not attend.
This marks the largest evacuation in French history. Previous record holder was a particularly aggressive cheese inspection in 1987. Bordeaux region burning means wine country is now producing a different kind of vintage. Smoky notes. Hints of panic. Pairs well with fleeing.
Retail traders are asking if this creates a buying opportunity in European real estate. They're checking Zillow listings for charred vineyards. Running the technicals on ash futures. One guy on Reddit claims he's been long fire extinguisher manufacturers since May and this validates his thesis. He lost money anyway because he bought options with a week to expiration.
The fire spread from France into Spain, which sounds like manifest destiny but with worse PR. Nobody consulted the Pyrenees about becoming a speed bump. Mountains proved useless. Just sat there being tall while flames walked right past them like they weren't even trying.
Crisis meetings are where politicians gather to discuss how concerned they should look on camera. Macron will furrow his brow. Someone will mention climate change. Another person will suggest more studies. The fire will continue not giving a sh*t about parliamentary procedure.
300,000 people displaced and the S&P 500 didn't even notice. That's because the market prices in everything except things that matter. A CEO tweets about blockchain and stocks jump eleven percent. Half of France evacuates and futures traders are already looking at their phones checking if this affects the Fed's next rate decision.
The wildfire is gigantic, which is French for we stopped measuring it. At a certain point you just call it gigantic and hope nobody asks for specifics. Firefighters are doing their best, which means the fire is winning.
Your calls expired worthless and so did Bordeaux's fire insurance.
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