General Motors spent millions developing an AI system that will live inside your vehicle and listen to everything you say. They're calling it proprietary. That means it's theirs. They own it. You just get to sit in the same enclosed space with it while it learns your habits.
The system launches later this year. GM says it's better tailored for customers. Tailored is what you call surveillance when you're trying to get investors excited. The AI will know where you drive. When you drive. How fast you drive. What you say when someone cuts you off in traffic. All of it proprietary.
This is the same company that couldn't figure out ignition switches for a decade. Now they're building artificial intelligence. They've moved from "your car might kill you mechanically" to "your car might judge you emotionally." Progress.
The best part is calling it proprietary like that's a feature. Like customers were sitting around asking for GM-exclusive technology that only works in GM vehicles and feeds data exclusively to GM servers. Nobody asked for this. But GM heard the question anyway. That's how badly they understand what people want.
Retail traders will buy GM stock on this news. They'll read "AI" and "proprietary" and think they're early to the next Tesla. They're not. They're late to a company that's been making cars since 1908 and just realized computers exist. The AI will probably recommend you buy a different car.
Better tailored for customers. That's the line. As if the problem with cars was that they weren't listening closely enough. You'll drive to work and the AI will suggest a faster route and a better job and a divorce attorney because it heard what you said about your spouse at that red light on Jefferson.
GM's proprietary system will be worse than everyone else's, cost more to fix, and only work with approved GM partnerships, but at least it'll know you're broke before the repo man does.
Photo by gibblesmash asdf on Unsplash
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