HHS decided food ingredient oversight needed tightening. They're also defining ultra-processed foods now. Your Cheetos have been ultra-processed for forty years but the federal government just got around to checking what that means.
The FDA apparently lacked visibility into food safety concerns. Visibility. The agency responsible for approving every substance Americans shove down their throats couldn't see the safety concerns. They had one job that involves literally looking at ingredients and they're now admitting they weren't looking hard enough.
Retail traders heard this news and immediately started scanning their portfolios for food stocks. They're checking if their Kraft Heinz shares will tank because the government finally noticed that neon orange powder might warrant a second glance. These are the same people who bought Peloton at $160 because they thought a bike with an iPad was disruptive technology.
The timing here is perfect. Mounting safety concerns forced action. Mounting. They piled up so high that regulators had to acknowledge them. This is like your check engine light staying on for three years before you finally pop the hood.
HHS will now oversee ingredients more carefully. They'll define terms. They'll increase visibility. They'll do all the things you assumed they were already doing when you paid taxes to fund a food safety apparatus. Congratulations on learning that regulatory oversight was more of a suggestion than a mandate.
The best part is that nothing changes for you. You'll still eat the same garbage. The ingredients will still be ultra-processed or regularly processed or whatever new category they invent. HHS will file reports. The FDA will visibility the f*ck out of those ingredients. And your portfolio will underperform an index fund for the seventh consecutive year because you thought this headline meant something actionable.
Photo by Arno Senoner on Unsplash
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