NATO chief Mark Rutte spent a summit in Turkey calling Trump "dear Donald" and throwing around phrases like "Trump trillion." Not a defense strategy. Not a military doctrine. Just a guy who watched one season of The Apprentice and decided that's how diplomacy works now.
The "Trump trillion" refers to increased defense spending Rutte wants to credit to Trump's tough talk. He lavished praise. He gushed. He did everything except braid Trump's hair and tell him his hands look totally normal-sized. This is the man responsible for coordinating the military defense of thirty-two nations.
Rutte figured out that if you compliment Trump enough times, he might not dismantle the entire Western security architecture before lunch. Bold move. Revolutionary stuff. Really makes you wonder what the previous seventy-five years of NATO strategy were missing. Turns out it was just telling the president he's very special and good at business.
The summit was fractious. Member states argued. Turkey did Turkey things. But Rutte stayed on message: Trump good, Trump strong, Trump made us spend money we should have spent anyway. He's transformed collective security into a protection racket where the Don gets his ego stroked twice per paragraph.
Retail traders are now analyzing NATO communiqués for hints about defense contractor stock moves. They're charting Rutte's compliment frequency against Lockheed Martin's price action. They've created a "Flattery Index." It has a Sharpe ratio of 0.003.
The strategy worked, apparently. Trump didn't threaten to leave NATO during this particular summit. He accepted the praise like a toddler accepts a participation trophy. And Rutte gets to go home knowing he debased the entire concept of transatlantic partnership for another few months of relative stability.
Somewhere a political science professor is updating their syllabus to include "sycophancy" as a legitimate tool of statecraft.
Photo by History in HD on Unsplash
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