A judge in New Mexico ordered Meta to pay $567 million into an abatement fund after a jury ruled the company violated the state's unfair practices act by harming children. Meta's stock moved approximately zero percent on the news because $567 million is what Mark Zuckerberg spends on eyedrops.
The abatement fund will presumably help fix whatever Meta broke. Nobody knows what you abate with half a billion dollars. Build better internet filters? Hire therapists? Fund a statewide seminar on why your kid shouldn't be on Instagram at age nine? The state didn't specify and Meta didn't ask because they were too busy calculating that $567 million represents roughly 0.4% of their annual revenue.
This is the part where retail traders check their Meta holdings and feel nothing. The chart didn't move. The talking heads didn't panic. CNBC spent four minutes on it between commercials for wealth management services you can't afford. Your shares are fine. Your calls are fine. Everything is fine except for the children in New Mexico, who remain harmed.
The jury found Meta guilty of violating unfair practices laws, which is corporate speak for "you f*cked up in a way that made us look bad." New Mexico wanted accountability. They got a rounding error. Meta will pay the fine with the budget line item labeled Oopsie Fund and move on to the next quarter.
You're still holding Meta calls because you read on Reddit that the metaverse is coming back. It's not. But your calls will probably print anyway because nothing means anything and a $567 million penalty is just the cost of doing business when your business is monetizing the attention span of minors.
Photo by on Unsplash
Leave a Comment