OpenAI's CFO Sarah Friar stood in front of employees and announced the company will go public in 2027 or sooner. She added "or sooner" because apparently 2027 wasn't vague enough. That's the financial equivalent of telling your girlfriend you'll propose "sometime in the next few years, maybe."
Friar felt compelled to reassure employees not to worry about Anthropic's IPO timeline. This is like the second-place finisher at a pie-eating contest telling everyone not to stress about the guy who's already on his fourth slice. The confidence is inspiring. The reality is less so.
Public companies answer to shareholders who demand quarterly earnings and explanations for why the AI didn't cure cancer yet. Private companies answer to venture capitalists who demand the same thing but with worse PowerPoints. OpenAI currently burns through capital faster than a divorced dad at a casino, and going public means every retail trader with a Robinhood account gets to watch the bonfire in real time.
The "or sooner" hedge is doing heavy lifting here. Could be 2027. Could be next Tuesday. Could be never if Sam Altman decides he'd rather stay private and keep doing whatever it is he does when he's not getting fired and rehired. Friar's job is to make timelines sound concrete while leaving enough wiggle room to drive a Tesla through.
Employees apparently needed this pep talk because they were worried. Worried that Anthropic might IPO first. Worried that going public means scrutiny. Worried that their stock options might vest right before the company decides 2027 was more of a suggestion than a commitment.
Retail traders are already marking their calendars, preparing to buy at the peak and sell at the bottom, as is tradition. They'll ignore every red flag, miss every exit, and blame Jerome Powell when it goes wrong.
Photo by Jonathan Kemper on Unsplash
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