OpenAI might wait until 2027 to go public. That's five years for you to read every Reddit thread about how this time it's different. Five years to convince yourself you understand transformer models because you used ChatGPT to write a breakup text. Five years to forget that every company that makes you feel stupid eventually takes your money anyway.
SpaceX wants to compete with mobile carriers now. Elon Musk looked at his portfolio of a rocket company, a car company, a brain chip company, and a website he ruined, then decided he needed to fight Verizon. This is what happens when nobody tells you no for twenty years. Next he'll acquire Jiffy Lube because he got inspired waiting for an oil change.
The Club published ten things to watch Friday. Ten. They couldn't trim it to eight. Couldn't make it a tight seven. Had to give you ten because someone's getting paid by the bullet point and God forbid we leave anything out. Number six is probably Fed minutes from 2019. Number nine is lumber futures. Number ten is whether Jim Cramer's voice sounds different today.
None of this affects your portfolio. OpenAI could IPO tomorrow at $8 trillion and your Robinhood account would still be red because you bought Palantir at $38 after watching a TikTok. SpaceX could launch phones directly into your hands from orbit and you'd still be underwater on that AI penny stock your cousin mentioned at Thanksgiving.
But sure, watch all ten things Friday. Take notes. Make a spreadsheet. Tell yourself you're doing research while the algorithms that actually move prices finish their work in four milliseconds and go home.
Photo by Tötös Ádám on Unsplash
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