Michael Khouw has a strategy for trading Tesla into earnings. He's breaking it down for you. He's explaining the Greeks. He's calculating implied volatility. He's doing all the work so you don't have to.
The bar for Tesla earnings is sky-high. That's the headline. Not that Tesla might beat. Not that Tesla might miss. Just that expectations exist and they are elevated. This passes for actionable intelligence in 2026.
Khouw wants you to capitalize. That's the verb they used. Capitalize. As if buying an iron condor on a stock that moves 12% on earnings is capitalizing on anything other than your own undiagnosed gambling problem.
The options market is pricing in a massive move. You know what that means. It means the options are expensive. You know what happens when you buy expensive options on earnings. You lose money in three dimensions simultaneously. Time decay. Volatility crush. And the underlying going exactly nowhere.
But sure. Trade the straddle. Sell the strangle. Build a f*cking butterfly spread with strikes so tight you need a jeweler's loupe to see the profit zone. Tell yourself you're hedging. Tell yourself you're market-neutral. Tell yourself Elon can't hurt you this time.
The bar is sky-high because analysts keep raising price targets after the stock runs 40% in six weeks. Then they act surprised when the bar they set is sky-high. Then they send Michael Khouw on television to explain how you can profit from the bar they created being exactly where they put it.
Tesla will report a number. The stock will move. Your options will expire worthless or close enough that the commission eats the profit. And next quarter Michael Khouw will be back with a new strategy that sounds different but loses your money in exactly the same way.
Leave a Comment