Iranian President Pezeshkian is flying to New York for a UN meeting. Trump threatened to obliterate Iran's economy or kill its leadership if they don't make a deal. Diplomats called this "unhelpful." Retail traders immediately checked if there's an Iran ETF they can panic-buy at the top.
The chart doesn't care about geopolitical threats. The chart doesn't know what the UN is. The chart is a collection of pixels that moved before this headline and will move after this headline for reasons that have nothing to do with this headline. But sure, let's pretend the 50-day moving average is deeply concerned about diplomatic protocol.
Pezeshkian will sit in a room with people who also flew to New York. They will talk. Someone will issue a statement. The statement will contain the word "dialogue" at least six times. Zero traders will read the statement. All traders will read a three-word summary of the statement written by a bot that doesn't understand Farsi or English.
Trump's threat to destroy Iran's economy is technically redundant since Iran's economy has been getting destroyed by sanctions since before most Robinhood users were born. Threatening to eliminate leadership is new branding for the same foreign policy we've had since Carter wore sweaters. None of this information helps you determine whether QQQ goes up or down tomorrow.
Some guy in Ohio is currently building a watchlist of defense contractors because he thinks this headline is actionable intelligence. He will buy calls on Monday. The stocks will gap down on an earnings miss from a company that makes semiconductors. He will blame Iran for his $740 loss and learn nothing.
Pezeshkian gets a direct flight to JFK. You get a stop in Charlotte and a technical analysis webinar that costs $297.
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