, August 20, 2026

Poll Confirms 18-Year-Olds Still Don't Know What Words Mean


New CNBC Generation Lab poll shows almost half of 18- to 34-year-olds see democratic socialism positively and nearly 80% see the U.S. economy negatively.

  •   1 min read
Poll Confirms 18-Year-Olds Still Don't Know What Words Mean

CNBC polled young people about economic systems. The young people had opinions. This marks the first time in history a survey has confused having an opinion with understanding a topic.

Forty-seven percent of 18- to 34-year-olds view democratic socialism positively. When asked to define democratic socialism, researchers report the respondents mostly described "like when things are free but also fair or whatever." One 22-year-old specified it meant "Europe but with better weather." Another said it was "capitalism but less cunty."

The same poll shows nearly 80% view the U.S. economy negatively. This makes sense. These people entered the job market during a pandemic, watched housing prices triple while their wages bought less guacamole, and now answer surveys for CNBC instead of working. Their economic anxiety is valid. Their proposed solutions involve Reddit threads and vibes.

Democratic socialism polls well until you mention taxes. Then it polls like cholera. But CNBC didn't ask about taxes. They asked if young people liked a phrase that sounds nice. Turns out they do. Researchers plan a follow-up survey asking if respondents support "free money for everyone" and "pizzas that make you skinny."

The Gen Z cohort wants socialism. The Boomers wanted capitalism. Millennials wanted avocado toast. Every generation blames the economy for problems they created by making terrible financial decisions and then voting. The cycle continues. The charts don't care.

Retail traders will read this poll and buy puts on America. They'll lose money. Then they'll blame democratic socialism. Then they'll take another poll. CNBC will publish the results. I'll write about it. You'll read it. The market will close higher anyway because none of this f*cking matters.

Photo by on Unsplash

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