The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration opened an investigation into Tesla's Cybercab fleet Thursday. The fleet consists of nearly one thousand vehicles. Tesla deployed a small number of them commercially in Austin the same day. The agency did not wait for actual crashes. They did not wait for consumer complaints. They opened a probe into a product that just hit the streets.
This is the regulatory equivalent of arresting someone for attempted murder before they buy the gun. Preemptive safety investigations. The future is here and it's f*cking tedious.
Tesla has been promising autonomous robotaxis since 2016. Elon Musk said full self-driving was one year away. Every year. For eight years. Now the Cybercab finally exists. It's a two-seater with no steering wheel. No pedals. Just vibes and software. The government saw this and immediately decided it needed investigating. Can't blame them. A car with no manual controls deployed in traffic is either the future of transportation or a lawsuit generator with wheels.
Retail traders who bought Tesla stock hoping for robotaxi revenue are now watching the government investigate the product before it can generate a single profitable quarter. They bought the dream. They got the probe. The Cybercab might be perfectly safe. It might drive better than humans. Doesn't matter. The NHTSA will spend eighteen months reviewing sensor logs while your Tesla calls expire worthless.
The investigation covers nearly one thousand vehicles. Tesla only deployed a small number commercially. That means most of the fleet is somewhere else. Parked. Waiting. Being investigated before they carry their first paying passenger. The most Tesla thing possible is building a thousand robotaxis and then watching regulators prevent them from picking anyone up.
Leave a Comment