Salesforce announced three AI acquisitions in June. Wall Street responded by shrugging and checking their phones.
Three deals in one month sounds impressive until you remember that buying companies is literally what happens when a tech giant runs out of ideas. Can't build it? Buy it. Can't integrate it? Buy two more and hope they cancel each other out.
The company spent god knows how much money on AI startups that probably consist of four guys in a WeWork and a ChatGPT API wrapper. Wall Street looked at the price tags, looked at Salesforce's track record of acquisitions, and decided to remain skeptical. Shocking move by the market's most cautious participants.
Retail traders saw the headline and immediately started Googling "what is Salesforce" and "is AI still a thing." They then bought calls expiring Friday because someone on Reddit said the acquisitions would "unlock synergies." The synergies in question: three separate login portals that don't talk to each other and a customer support chatbot that tells you to restart your computer.
June alone. Three deals. Wall Street's doubt meter didn't budge. They've seen this movie before and it ends with a write-down two quarters from now when the integration costs more than the purchase price.
The beautiful part is Salesforce could announce they're acquiring God himself and the stock would still trade sideways because nobody believes they can actually deliver on any of this. They're the kid who shows up to class with three science fair projects and still gets a C because none of them work.
Wall Street's message is clear: buying your way into AI relevance is the corporate equivalent of a comb-over, and everyone can see your scalp.
Photo by on Unsplash
Leave a Comment