United Airlines CEO Scott Kirby sat down with CNBC to discuss his vision for the future. He's been running the airline for a decade. Your bags still get lost.
Kirby wants to talk about megadeals. He wants to talk about artificial intelligence. He wants to talk about expanding operations at JFK. You want to talk about why your connecting flight to Denver boards from a gate that requires a f*cking shuttle bus and a spirit journey.
The man has been steering this ship for ten years and his big innovation is thinking about AI. Here's a thought: maybe train the AI on how to not overbook every flight like you're running a Ponzi scheme at 35,000 feet. Maybe teach it why charging $40 for a checked bag while losing $2 billion in market cap makes you look like a guy selling kidneys to afford Spotify Premium.
Airline megadeals. That's what keeps Kirby up at night. Not the fact that United's customer satisfaction scores suggest most passengers would rather eat glass than fly again. Not the reality that every gate agent looks like they're being held hostage. Megadeals.
JFK expansion sounds great until you remember United already operates at JFK and it's exactly as miserable as every other airport where they operate. Adding more gates just means more places for your flight to get delayed. Economies of scale applied to disappointment.
The CNBC interview was wide-ranging. Know what else is wide-ranging? The area where United might have thrown your luggage. Could be Newark. Could be Hong Kong. The AI will figure it out in 3-5 business days.
Ten years running an airline and the best pitch is we're thinking big about the future. Brother, I'm thinking big about why my knees touch the seat in front of me and the guy next to me brought tuna fish in a Tupperware container.
Photo by Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash
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