Microsoft, SpaceX, Palantir, and Nvidia just launched the Open Secure AI Alliance. They're partnering with dozens of other tech firms to address AI security concerns. This happened right after OpenAI got hacked. You know, the company that's been telling us AI is totally safe and definitely won't cause any problems.
The timing is f*cking perfect. OpenAI suffers a cyberattack. Then immediately, every major tech company scrambles to join a safety alliance. It's like watching someone set their kitchen on fire and then starting a neighborhood fire safety committee while their house is still burning.
SpaceX is in this alliance. The rocket company. They're now experts on AI security because Elon Musk owns both SpaceX and has opinions about AI on Twitter. That's the credential. Palantir's involved too, which makes sense because when you think "open" and "secure," you immediately think of the surveillance company that works with intelligence agencies.
The alliance promises to make AI safer through collaboration and shared resources. They'll probably hold quarterly meetings where everyone nods solemnly about the importance of safety while simultaneously racing to ship the next model faster than their competitors. It's a support group for arsonists.
Retail traders are already pricing this in. They're buying shares of anything with "AI" in the press release. Some guy just mortgaged his house to buy calls on a company that joined the alliance. His thesis? "They said secure." He doesn't know what the alliance does. Doesn't matter. The word "alliance" tested well in focus groups.
The OpenAI hack continues to be described as "fallout," which is a word you use when something explodes and spreads radioactive material. But sure, everything's under control now that we've formed a committee about it.
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