Trump wants to split the MMR vaccine into three separate shots. Doctors say this has no scientific basis. The experts are being polite. What they mean is: this is f*cking stupid.
The measles, mumps and rubella vaccine comes as one shot because that's how it works best. Three separate shots means three separate appointments. Three separate chances for parents to skip one. Three separate co-pays. Three separate times a kid screams in a pediatrician's office while some dad named Derek films it for his wellness podcast.
Splitting the vaccine doesn't make it safer. It makes it less convenient. Which means fewer kids get vaccinated. Which means more outbreaks. Which means the trading desk at Goldman starts modeling daycare closure risk into their consumer discretionary models while you're still trying to figure out if your Tesla shares are going to the moon.
The proposal won't get off the ground, according to experts. That's the good news. The bad news is we're now living in a timeline where "split the MMR vaccine" is a policy position someone has to debunk with actual medical credentials instead of just laughing and walking away.
Retail traders heard "split" and assumed it meant their Moderna shares would double. They did not read the rest of the headline. They never do. One guy on Reddit calculated that three separate vaccines means 200% more vaccine revenue and posted a screenshot of his call options. He's already down 40% but he's holding because he "believes in the thesis."
The consequences of splitting the vaccine include decreased vaccination rates and increased disease spread. The consequences of not splitting it include Trump being mad. Doctors chose the option where fewer children die. Brave stuff.
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
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