A nor'easter hit the Northeast this weekend. Tens of millions of people experienced what scientists call "winter." One person died. The storm brought coastal flooding and power outages, which means someone somewhere definitely tried to trade utility stocks during the blackout.
The mid-Atlantic and New England got battered. Wind and rain did what wind and rain do. Trees fell. Lights went out. The ocean reminded coastal homeowners that buying a beach house at sea level was always a terrible investment, but nobody wants to hear that during the open house.
Retail traders in the affected area faced a crisis. How do you panic-sell your SPY puts when the power's out? Do you drive to Starbucks and use their wifi? Do you hotspot off your phone while your neighbor's roof is in your pool? These are the questions that keep active traders up at night, or would keep them up if they weren't already awake at 3 AM checking futures.
The storm was forecast well in advance. Meteorologists did their jobs. They said a nor'easter was coming. They showed maps. They used words like "significant" and "hazardous." And yet people still acted surprised when weather occurred exactly as predicted, which tracks perfectly with how those same people react when their overleveraged tech calls expire worthless on a Friday.
Power companies scrambled to restore electricity. Crews worked through dangerous conditions. Linemen climbed poles in high winds so Karen could recharge her Robinhood account and buy more Tesla shares she can't afford. Heroes, every one of them.
One death is a tragedy. Tens of millions inconvenienced is a statistic. Retail traders losing money because they couldn't access their brokerage app during a preventable emergency is f*cking hilarious.
Photo by Zain Creations on Unsplash
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