Meta released a new AI model. Zuckerberg wants you to talk to a computer instead of a person. Progress.
The personal AI assistant vision moves forward. You'll chat with an algorithm about your day. It will listen without judgment because it has no consciousness. It will remember your birthday because that's a database query. It will never cancel plans because it doesn't exist in physical space. Your loneliest friend just got lonelier and now it's made of math.
Retail traders see this headline and think they've spotted the next revolution. They'll buy Meta shares because personal assistants sound futuristic. They'll ignore that Zuckerberg has been promising this exact thing since 2016. They'll forget about the metaverse. They'll pretend Horizon Worlds didn't happen. They'll convince themselves this time is different because the press release used the word "advances."
The model itself probably works fine. It'll set reminders and answer questions and pretend to care about your problems. It'll do exactly what Siri does but with a different logo. You'll ask it for restaurant recommendations. It'll scrape Yelp and present the data like it has taste buds. You'll thank it anyway because you're polite to machines now.
Meanwhile the stock chart shows a symmetrical triangle with declining volume. RSI sits at 52. MACD crossed bearish last Tuesday. None of this matters because a billionaire said the words "personal" and "AI" in the same sentence. Buy signals don't come from indicators. They come from vibes. The vibe here is that you're going to pay a subscription fee to text a chatbot that knows your mother's maiden name.
Zuckerberg spent forty billion dollars so you could have a friend who never asks to borrow money.
Photo by Julio Lopez on Unsplash
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