Meta spent billions building hardware nobody asked for. Zuckerberg stood on stage and announced VR glasses that cost more than a used Honda Civic's down payment. He paired them with a charm pendant called Muse because apparently we're doing jewelry now.
The glasses run AI agents. Not artificial intelligence that cures disease or solves traffic. AI that lives in your pendant and whispers stock tips while you're buying overpriced coffee. This is the future venture capitalists burned through sixty-seven billion dollars to create.
Retail traders will buy these. They'll strap goggles to their faces and watch their portfolios tank in three dimensions. The Muse Charm will dangle from their necks like a tiny guillotine made of silicon and broken dreams. They'll tell their friends the spatial computing experience makes losing money feel immersive.
Meta Connect exists so Zuckerberg can stand in front of developers and pretend the metaverse didn't die eighteen months ago. He pivots to AI agents. He pivots to wearables. He pivots to anything except admitting he built Second Life with a bigger marketing budget.
The VR glasses cost $1,299. For context, that's enough money to buy actual useful things. A flight somewhere. Six months of groceries. Therapy sessions to process why you thought buying Meta hardware was a good investment decision.
But sure. Wear the charm. Let the AI agent tell you when to buy the dip. Watch your retirement fund evaporate in glorious high-definition virtual reality while Mark Zuckerberg counts your money from his Hawaiian compound.
At least the pendant probably glows in the dark so paramedics can find your body after you margin call yourself into a coma.
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