Airlines canceled change fees ahead of a nor'easter. The storm hadn't hit yet. Flight disruptions were minimal as of Friday morning. But the fees got waived anyway.
This represents a breakthrough in meteorological finance. Airlines looked at a weather forecast. They saw snow coming. They decided not to charge people two hundred dollars to avoid dying in a regional jet over Connecticut.
The change fee was always fictitious. It costs an airline nothing to move your name from one list to another list. A teenager does it with a mouse click. The fee existed because you'd pay it. Now a light dusting of snow makes it disappear.
Here's what happened: Some VP saw the forecast on Thursday. He ran the numbers. He realized charging change fees during a nor'easter generates bad tweets. Bad tweets cost more than the fees make. So he sent an email. The fees vanished.
Flight delays were trickling in as of Friday morning. Trickling. Not pouring. Not flooding. Trickling. Which means most flights were fine. But the fees still got waived because of the trickle.
Retail traders are now wondering if they can apply this logic to their portfolios. Just tell your broker a nor'easter is coming. Ask him to waive your losses. See what happens. He'll laugh. Then he'll hang up. Then he'll call his wife and tell her about the r*tard who thought weather cancelled margin calls.
The most insulting part is calling it a waiver. You don't waive something that shouldn't exist. You don't waive a tax on breathing. You don't waive a fee for using vowels. You just stop being a f*cking thief for one weekend because the Weather Channel said it might snow.
But sure. Give them credit for not charging you extra to escape a blizzard they knew was coming three days ago.
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