Alphabet fell roughly 5% on Monday. The S&P 500 and Nasdaq followed it down like lemmings wearing Patagonia vests. Tech giants sold off. Markets moved. None of this mattered.
Here's what actually happened: numbers on screens changed color. Red replaced green. Traders who bought calls on Friday began refreshing their brokerage apps with the manic energy of divorced dads checking Tinder. The selling continued because the selling continued. That's it. That's the whole story.
But Tuesday's session will be different, the headline promises. Big stock stories ahead. Likely to move the market. What a load of shit. The market will move because the market always moves. Sometimes up. Sometimes down. Occasionally sideways just to f*ck with the weekly options crowd.
Alphabet dropped 5% and took the indices with it because Alphabet is worth more than the GDP of most countries and gets included in every index that matters. When a company that size moves, everything moves. This is not analysis. This is arithmetic. A golden retriever could understand this.
Yet here comes Tuesday, promising new stories, fresh catalysts, reasons for things. The financial media will point to earnings reports or Fed speeches or geopolitical tensions. They'll draw lines connecting dots that don't exist. Retail traders will nod along, convinced they're learning something, then proceed to lose money for reasons completely unrelated to whatever Bloomberg said at 6 AM.
The charts don't care about your stories. Support held or it didn't. Resistance broke or it didn't. Volume came in or it stayed home. Everything else is a bedtime story for adults who need to believe their losses mean something.
Tuesday will arrive. Stocks will move. CNBC will explain why. None of the explanation will help you. The tech giants that sold off Monday might bounce, might crater further, might chop around in a range that stops out both bulls and bears before lunch. And on Wednesday, there will be another headline promising to tell you what moves the market next, as if anyone ever knew.
Photo by Maxim Hopman on Unsplash
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