Bank of America wants you to buy stocks before it's too late.
Too late for what? The stocks will still be there tomorrow. They are stocks. They do not close at 5 like a Blockbuster.
The firm named a slew of undervalued stocks to buy ahead of quarterly reports. A slew. Not a list. Not a handful. A slew, which is what you call pigs when you've lost count.
Notice the timing. Buy before earnings. Before the numbers come out. Before anyone knows anything. That is not analysis. That is a bank asking you to hold a bag it's currently holding.
Undervalued is the best word in the building. Undervalued by whom? By the market, which is the one thing in finance that actually has a vote. Bank of America looked at the collective judgment of millions of traders and said, respectfully, no.
Retail traders will read this and feel chosen. They will feel like someone slid them a note in class. They will open the app at 9:29 and buy a ticker they cannot pronounce, based on a headline they read on a phone, while sitting on a toilet in an apartment they describe as temporary.
The chart doesn't care. The chart never read the note. It has a 50-day moving average and no feelings, which makes it the healthiest relationship in your portfolio.
Earnings will come. The stocks will gap up or gap down. Bank of America will say it saw it coming either way. Analysts are the only people who can be right in two directions and bill for both.
Before it's too late, they said. It was too late when you started trading options off a podcast.
Photo by Don Stouder on Unsplash
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