Jamie Dimon runs the largest bank in America. His bank sells stocks to clients. His bank sells Treasurys to clients. He just told everyone not to buy either at current prices.
This creates what economists call a business model problem.
JPMorgan Chase made $12.9 billion last quarter helping people buy and sell the exact assets Dimon says he personally wouldn't touch. The firm employs thousands of people whose entire job involves convincing investors that now is always the perfect time to deploy capital. Dimon went on television and said the opposite. He gets to do this because he's worth $2.3 billion and you're reading this on a phone you'll replace in eighteen months.
Markets have ignored wars. Markets have ignored tariffs. Markets have ignored shocks that would've crashed everything in 2008. Investors keep buying. Dimon says they're underestimating risk. He's probably right. He's been probably right eleven times in the last four years. The S&P 500 went up anyway.
Here's what happens next. Retail traders see this headline. They panic. They sell at a loss. Then JPMorgan's wealth management division calls them three days later asking if they've considered this exciting opportunity to buy the dip. The bank collects fees both directions. Dimon collects his bonus. Everyone learns nothing.
The funniest part is Dimon saying this while markets sit near all-time highs. He's not warning people away from a burning building. He's standing outside a packed nightclub telling people the music isn't that good. They're going in anyway. They'll pay the cover charge. They'll buy overpriced drinks. Some of them will get JPMorgan-branded credit cards to cover the tab.
Somewhere a financial advisor is explaining to a client why Dimon's comments don't apply to their specific portfolio allocation strategy while routing the trade through JPMorgan's clearing desk.
Photo by on Unsplash
Leave a Comment