House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer decided prediction markets need investigating. Insider trading, apparently. Because when you thought regulators had run out of things to pretend to care about, they found gambling websites.
Prediction markets let you bet on whether things will happen. Elections. Policy outcomes. Whether a bill passes. Comer thinks some people might be betting with information the rest of us don't have. Which is different from the stock market how, exactly? Don't answer that. The difference is prediction markets are honest about being gambling.
The House Oversight Committee has a stellar track record of investigating things that matter deeply to absolutely no one who trades for a living. They're very good at it. Comer expanding this probe means he found more people to subpoena who will say nothing useful while billing their lawyers $800 an hour. Your tax dollars at work.
Here's what kills me. Retail traders can't read a balance sheet. Can't identify a trend if it's tattooed on their foreheads. But they'll definitely crack the prediction market insider trading conspiracy that stumped the SEC. They'll do it using TradingView and a YouTube video titled "3 Indicators That NEVER Fail."
Comer's from Kentucky. Horse racing state. They've been betting on races for two centuries and somehow never solved the problem of trainers knowing more than bettors. But prediction markets? Those we'll clean up. Sure.
The investigation will expand. Hearings will happen. Witnesses will testify. Someone will leak a document. Cable news will run a graphic with ominous music. And precisely zero traders will change their strategies because of anything James Comer uncovers.
The real insider trading is knowing this investigation exists purely so Comer can say he investigated something.
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