The House Committee launched an investigation into Chinese AI models used by U.S. companies. They're worried about national security risks. They're worried about data privacy. They're worried about things they definitely Googled last week.
Nobody asked the obvious question. If these AI models are so dangerous, why did American companies adopt them in the first place? Oh right. They were cheaper. Turns out corporate America will hand over the keys to the kingdom if it shaves three percent off the quarterly burn rate.
The lawmakers want answers about which companies are using Chinese AI and for what purpose. Bold move. Really cracking the case. Next they'll subpoena everyone who bought a Huawei phone in 2019 and ask them to explain what apps they downloaded.
Here's the thing about AI built in China versus AI built in America. Both of them hallucinate. Both of them confidently spit out wrong answers. Both of them will tell you to put glue on pizza if you prompt them incorrectly. The difference is one of them reports back to Beijing and the other one reports back to whoever's paying for the API calls.
Retail traders heard "Chinese AI investigation" and immediately started panic-selling anything with "tech" in the name. They dumped semiconductor stocks. They dumped cloud computing ETFs. One guy sold his shares in a company that makes fortune cookies because he thought it sounded strategic.
The committee will hold hearings. Executives will testify. They'll say they take security very seriously. They'll promise to do better. Then they'll go back to using whichever AI model costs the least, because that's what the board wants and the board doesn't give a f*ck about your data.
Congress spent six months figuring out TikTok was Chinese. Give them another year and they'll discover what the letters AI stand for.
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