Jim Cramer made a list of ten things. The stock market will do whatever it was going to do anyway. These two events are unrelated.
Robinhood got an upgrade from an analyst who gets paid to have opinions about stocks that move based on teenage gambling addicts discovering options for the first time. The upgrade means nothing. The stock will go up or down based on whether enough people click the buy button on their phones while sitting on the toilet. Technical analysis says Robinhood is forming a classic "app full of broke people" pattern on the daily chart.
Then there's this question about whether rates can go lower. They can. They can also go higher. They can stay exactly where they are. The Federal Reserve will do something and then everyone will pretend they predicted it. CNBC will bring on twelve people to explain why the thing that just happened was obvious all along. None of them will mention that last month they said the opposite thing with the same confidence.
Cramer's list has eight other items on it. I don't know what they are. Neither do you. It doesn't matter. By Wednesday morning the market will have moved for reasons that have nothing to do with any of them and Cramer will explain why he saw it coming. He's been doing this for two decades. People still watch.
Retail traders will read the list. They'll open their Robinhood apps. They'll buy something because it was number three on a cable television personality's Tuesday list. By Friday they'll be down eleven percent and blaming market manipulation. The chart was telling them to sit on their f*cking hands the entire time. Nobody listens to charts. They listen to lists.
The market closes at four p.m. The list expires at four-oh-one.
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