Jim Cramer announced five investing themes he believes will dominate the market. He paired each theme with specific stocks to buy. This happened on CNBC during earnings season.
The man gets paid to tell you what to purchase after it already moved. You write it down. You call your broker, or more likely, you fat-finger it into Robinhood at 9:31 AM. The stock gaps down four percent on no news. Cramer's already talking about his next theme. You're still holding.
Five themes. Not four. Not six. Five. Like he ran the numbers through some proprietary system and the algorithm spit out exactly five thematic investment opportunities. Or he needed to fill seven minutes of airtime and five themes with stock picks gets you to the commercial break without breaking a sweat.
The technical picture doesn't care about themes. The chart doesn't read CNBC transcripts. Support breaks at the same level whether Cramer blessed it or cursed it. But you already bought shares because a man in a button-down yelled at you through a screen, so now you're checking after-hours prices on your phone at dinner. Your wife asks if you're okay. You lie.
Earnings season reinforced these themes, apparently. Reinforced. Like the themes were already there, load-bearing walls in the financial markets, and quarterly reports just confirmed their structural integrity. Brother, earnings season is companies telling you they made more or less money than analysts expected. Analysts who were wrong last quarter. And the quarter before that.
Cramer highlighted five themes and matched them with buy recommendations, which means somewhere right now a guy named Derek is moving his entire Roth IRA into those tickers because he thinks theme-based investing sounds more sophisticated than what he was doing before, which was buying stocks that started with the same letter as his dog's name.
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