Grindr launched a premium tier that costs $350 per month. Not per year. Per month. The CEO says it had some surprises. He did not specify whether the surprise was that anyone paid for it or that more than three people paid for it.
The company credits AI for boosting engineering productivity. Translation: they fired half the team and asked ChatGPT to write the code. The AI also supports the new premium tier. Translation: the AI wrote a price generator and someone forgot to cap the maximum at a reasonable number.
Subscriber growth is up. Retention is up. Revenue per desperate human is way up. Grindr discovered that if you charge the cost of a used Honda Civic per year for an app, some percentage of users will simply pay it. This is the same business model as luxury handbags except the handbag doesn't ask for your location every six seconds.
The stock is probably going to rip because nothing says sustainable growth like a $4,200 annual subscription to see who's nearby. Retail traders will pile in because they see AI in the headline and their neurons fire like slot machines. They'll ignore that the actual product is a dating app with a paywall higher than most people's rent.
The CEO mentioned surprises with the premium tier but wouldn't elaborate. Safe bet: the surprise is that whales exist in every market. Someone out there is paying $350 monthly for premium features on a hookup app and still not getting laid.
Grindr just proved that AI's killer app isn't solving climate change or curing disease. It's convincing people to mortgage their checking account for incrementally better swipe mechanics.
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