Jim Cramer identified catalysts across Amazon, Alphabet, Meta, Microsoft, Nvidia and Tesla. Called it the Magnificent Seven. Six companies. Seven in the name. The man went on national television and forgot Apple exists.
This would be like calling something the Fantastic Four and listing three people. Or the Twelve Apostles and running out of names at Judas.
CNBC pays him to do this. They give him a studio, cameras, sound effects that go boing, and a button that probably cost more than your car. He uses all these resources to tell America that now—right now, after Nvidia already ran from $150 to wherever the f*ck it is today—it's time to buy.
Revenge of the Magnificent Seven. Revenge against what? Against the people who bought them six months ago when Cramer said to sell? Against the shorts who got obliterated in 2023? Against basic counting skills?
The bit about catalysts is my favorite part. Catalysts. As if Microsoft needs a catalyst. As if there's some retail trader in Ohio refreshing his Robinhood app thinking, "You know, I've been on the fence about Meta, but now that Jim sees a catalyst, I'm all in."
Tesla's in the list. Tesla. The company that makes cars sometimes and tweets always. The company whose CEO spent $44 billion to buy a website so he could make it worse. That's the catalyst. Elon buying things and breaking them.
Cramer sees the future. He sees it so clearly that he can't count to seven. He sees catalysts that already happened. He sees revenge that nobody asked for. And retail traders will watch this segment, nod along, and buy at the top, because the one thing more reliable than Cramer being wrong is people listening to him anyway.
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