The FAA is investigating an air-traffic safety incident involving Marine One while carrying Trump over Washington. Two helicopters almost occupied the same airspace at the same time. Physics would have resolved the dispute.
Air-traffic control exists to prevent metal objects from intersecting at high velocity. Someone failed at the one job. The President was aboard, which means we get an investigation instead of a quiet email to the shift supervisor.
Marine One operates in the most restricted airspace on the planet. The helicopter has its own call sign, dedicated flight paths, and enough security protocols to launch a nuclear submarine. Still nearly crashed. Imagine the other pilot's resume update: "Successfully did not kill the President, February 2026."
Retail traders are now pricing in helicopter volatility. Some guy in Michigan just bought puts on Lockheed Martin because he thinks Marine One uses their parts. It doesn't. He'll lose money anyway. His Discord server is currently debating whether this creates a buying opportunity in defense stocks or proves the deep state is real.
The incident happened in Washington, where the airspace is more controlled than a North Korean television broadcast. You can't fly a drone within fifty miles without three agencies writing reports. But two full-sized helicopters came close enough that someone had to file paperwork.
Trump survives his term, his post-term, and now apparently his commute. The FAA will issue a report in six months saying someone should have been paying attention. New protocols will be implemented. Nothing will change. The real miracle is that air-traffic control works at all when we've entrusted it to people who also can't figure out how to board a plane by row number.
Photo by Andrew Thomas on Unsplash
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