The Department of Health and Human Services decided it needs two more deputy commissioners at the FDA. One for technology. One for drugs. These are distinct categories apparently.
Sources familiar with the matter leaked this to someone who thought other people should know. They were wrong. The information has the shelf life of milk left in a hot car. By next week nobody will recall reading this. By next month the deputy commissioners themselves will forget what their jobs are.
Technology and drugs. Two separate deputies. The FDA already regulates both of those things. Has been doing it for decades. But now someone at HHS looked at the org chart and thought you know what this agency needs? More boxes. More titles. More people to forward emails to.
The retail trader scanning headlines for alpha just saw "FDA" and "drugs" and started googling which biotech stocks to dump his rent money into. He thinks this means something. He believes bureaucratic reshuffling creates trading opportunities. He will check his portfolio in three days and wonder why naming a deputy commissioner did not make his calls print.
These positions will be filled by qualified professionals who will attend many meetings. They will provide strategic oversight. They will synergize cross-functional initiatives. They will do whatever it is deputy commissioners do when they are not introducing themselves at conferences that nobody asked them to speak at.
The announcement will generate zero follow-up stories. No analyst will downgrade a stock because of it. No fund manager will rebalance a portfolio. The market will not move. Your life will not change. The deputies will get business cards with very long titles and every six months someone will have to explain to a new intern what the difference is between the two roles.
HHS plans to name them soon, which in government time means sometime between next Thursday and the heat death of the universe.
Photo by James Yarema on Unsplash
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