Microsoft announced a cybersecurity model that supposedly beats Anthropic's Mythos 5 when paired with OpenAI's GPT-5.4. Two problems. GPT-5.4 doesn't exist. Mythos 5 doesn't exist either.
This is a press release about fictional products competing with other fictional products. Microsoft is out here writing fan fiction about AI models that haven't been released, benchmarking them against competitor models that also haven't been released, and calling it news. It's like watching someone brag that their imaginary friend can beat up your imaginary friend.
The "cost-saving" angle is my favorite part. You save one hundred percent of your costs when you don't actually deploy anything real. Revolutionary stuff.
Retail traders read this headline and immediately started googling "how to invest in GPT-5.4 stock" without noticing that OpenAI currently offers GPT-4. Some guy in Ohio just put his kid's college fund into Microsoft calls because he thinks they cracked cybersecurity with a model number that some intern made up for a slide deck.
Microsoft's strategy here is bulletproof. Announce vaporware. Benchmark it against competitor vaporware. Declare victory. The cybersecurity threats they're protecting against are probably equally imaginary. Some AI is going to stop some other AI from doing something neither of them can actually do yet.
The tech industry stopped selling products and started selling the promise of products that will eventually compete with the promise of other products, and somehow we all just accepted this as normal business communication.
Your security suite can't get hacked if it doesn't f*cking exist.
Photo by BoliviaInteligente on Unsplash
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